我的妻子因為意外事故離開我身邊已經四年了，我想，妻子留下不會做任何家事的我和孩子，
她的心有何等難過呢？我也因為無法兼顧父母雙親的角色而感到挫折。
有一天我為了出差，清晨趕出門，無法將孩子打點好就得離開家，正巧前一天有剩下的飯，我熱了蒸蛋，向還沒有睡醒的孩子交代一聲，就出門去了。 為了照顧好孩子飲食三餐的事，我也無力把自己的工作做好。有一天晚上回到家，我只是很簡短地和孩子打個招呼，就因為身體疲累，不想吃晚餐，脫掉西裝之後就直接往床上躺下。就在那個時候，砰的一聲，紅色的湯汁跟泡麵瞬時弄髒了床單和被單，原來有碗泡麵在棉被裡！這小子真是的，說時遲那時快，我即時拿起一個衣架，跑出去，往正玩著玩具的兒子的屁股就打，因為我實在是太生氣了，所以不停地打他。但就在這個時候，他邊啜泣邊說了一段話，使我停了下來。兒子告訴我說：「飯鍋裡的飯早上已經吃完了，晚餐在幼稚園吃了，但是到了晚上，爸爸還不回來，我就在櫥櫃的抽屜裡找到了泡麵。可是我想到爸爸說不能亂動瓦斯爐，所以我就打開洗澡的水龍頭，用熱水泡了泡麵，一個自己吃，另一個想留給爸爸吃。因為怕泡麵涼掉，所以我就把它放在棉被裡，等你回來。可是因為我正在玩向朋友借來的玩具，所以忘了跟爸爸講。」
我不想讓兒子看到我在流淚，所以衝到洗手間，將水龍頭打開，大聲地哭。過了一陣子之後，我打起精神來，一面哄著兒子，一面也在他屁股上擦藥，讓他上床睡覺。當我清理好泡麵弄髒的床單和棉被後，打開兒子的房門一看，發現他仍舊發出哭泣聲，手裡還拿著媽媽的照片。我把頭靠在房門站了許久，看著這一幕。
自從在一年前發生這件事之後，我為了扮演好媽媽的角色，更加用心地去照顧他。現在兒子快七歲了，不久後就要從幼稚園畢業，進入國小讀書。慶幸的是，兒子在這段時間毫無陰影，很開朗地成長。就在不久前，我再一次打孩子，因為幼稚園來電話說，兒子沒有去學校，我心裡覺得很不安，所以早退回家，在整個社區裡大聲地喊他的名字，卻是遍尋不著。後來在文具店的門口，看見他站在電玩的前面，於是我很生氣，又開始一直打他。兒子並沒有說出任何的解釋，只說了聲對不起。後來我才知道，原來剛好是幼稚園要邀請媽媽去看才藝表演的日子。
發生這些事的幾天後，兒子回家說，他在幼稚園裡學了寫字，從此他經常關在自己的房間裡不出來，很認真地寫字。我看到兒子這個樣子，想到妻子在天國也一定會因為看到他這樣而微笑，我就無法忍住淚水。時間很快，又過了一年，到了冬天，街頭上都在播放著聖誕節的歌曲，我的兒子卻又闖了一個禍。我正要下班的時候，接到一通社區郵局的電話，說我兒子把一綑沒有寫地址的信，惡作劇地放在郵筒裡。每年到了年底，正是郵局最忙碌的時候，所以這對他們造成很大的困擾。雖然我已決定不再打孩子，但在急忙趕回家後，叫了兒子來，我又忍不住痛打他一頓。兒子這一次只是說他做錯了，卻沒有講出任何理由。我把他推到一個角落，不管了，自個兒跑到郵局領回那一綑惡作劇的信。我把信丟到他眼前說：「你為什麼要這樣惡作劇？」兒子哭著回答說：「這些信是我要寄給媽媽的。」
當時我的眼眶紅了起來，心裡很激動，但是因為在兒子面前，所以我盡量隱忍住沒有表現出來。我接著問他：「那麼，為什麼一次寄這麼多信呢？」兒子回答說：「以前我要把信投進去的時候，因為個兒太矮，所以沒辦法投入，但是最近我再去郵筒時，已經搆得到了，所以我就把以前沒有寄的，一次全部都投進入了。」我聽了以後，心中一片茫然，不知道該對孩子說什麼話。過了不久以後，我就跟他說：「媽媽現在在天上，以後你寫完信，把信燒了，就能送到天國去。」等孩子睡著之後，我到外面燒了那些信。我很好奇到底孩子想跟媽媽說些什麼，所以讀了其中的幾封信。而當中有一封信攪動了我的心。
「親愛的媽媽：
我很想念你！媽媽，今天在幼稚園有才藝表演，但是因為我沒有媽媽，所以沒有去參加，我也沒有告訴爸爸，怕爸爸會想念媽媽。爸爸到處去找我，但我為了讓爸爸看到我很開心的樣子，所以故意坐在電動玩具面前，雖然爸爸罵我，但是我到最後也沒有告訴他原因。媽媽，我每天都看到爸爸因為想念媽媽而哭泣，我想爸爸也跟我一樣，很想念媽媽吧！但是，媽，我現在已經記不清楚你的臉。媽媽，請你讓我在夢中，再一次能夠看到你的臉，好嗎？聽說把想念的人的照片放在懷裡睡覺，就會夢到那個人。可是，媽媽，為什麼你沒有出現在我的夢裡呢？」
讀完這封信以後，我就開始嚎啕大哭。到底什麼時候，我才能填補妻子的空位呢？
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
问题
那天回家的路上听了一遍蒋老师的CD，算是悟了这一点点的道理:
‘问题不会再是问题，当认变成了目标的时候’
谈何容易但却如此有深度的一句话。老师说当处理问题时不单凭情绪，原则，观念，喜好或错与对，只要很深远去想想后果然后决定于最恰当的方法，取自于之再马上行动去达成目标就是最有效了。
不要怕做错决定不敢去做决定，只有在错的决定才能找到下一个更对的。
可我在想。。。人有悲欢离合，有谁又可以EQ如此的高，可以anytime都那么冷静去处理突而起来的发生？有谁又可以铁面无私而大义灭亲？谁又真的可以将自己的感觉度身于外问题呢？！当没人认同你时，你又有能耐的一意孤行吗？只有上帝能办到吧？！
算了，maybe我还没到那种境界去领会。Like mum said：‘年轻人，在多点经历后吧。。’那我岂不是要set个目标，让自己再经跌倒多一点？
‘问题不会再是问题，当认变成了目标的时候’
谈何容易但却如此有深度的一句话。老师说当处理问题时不单凭情绪，原则，观念，喜好或错与对，只要很深远去想想后果然后决定于最恰当的方法，取自于之再马上行动去达成目标就是最有效了。
不要怕做错决定不敢去做决定，只有在错的决定才能找到下一个更对的。
可我在想。。。人有悲欢离合，有谁又可以EQ如此的高，可以anytime都那么冷静去处理突而起来的发生？有谁又可以铁面无私而大义灭亲？谁又真的可以将自己的感觉度身于外问题呢？！当没人认同你时，你又有能耐的一意孤行吗？只有上帝能办到吧？！
算了，maybe我还没到那种境界去领会。Like mum said：‘年轻人，在多点经历后吧。。’那我岂不是要set个目标，让自己再经跌倒多一点？
Monday, August 18, 2008
Man who gave us a dream...
C.W Lee lose out at the Olympic Badminton final match.. Call it a disappointment? Or shall I consider lucky? No doubt, C.W Lee is a great talent and he’s a big proud to us. But looking at the fundamental support from our government as compare to China, isn’t it surprise enough for our player to against them in the final? Sorry for being sarcastic…
I acted lukewarmly which watching the game with my housemates last night, but indeed I was thrilled and eager to expect his winning, a miracle that would make us proud again for something…
To Lee, although it was a pain to us, but for at least once you had brought us to almost a gold medal in Olympic, thank you…
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
eXercIses~
I was so back into exercises recently, for a better health? Physically to look better? Whatever it is I’m just so glad my strength of mind works this time, been jogging for months and now basketball. Yosh, isn’t this life supposed to be besides working hard?!
I used to try keeping up exercise paying hundred plus every month to fitness centre but I was only determined to go once or twice monthly. Don’t u laugh at me coz I know quite a number of ppl practicing same too. Too much of work excuses too little of determination, maybe?
It was really thrilling especially when the whole body sweat thoroughly, it stings I know, juz feel good and love it! And it puts me into sleeps damn well, saying goodbye to my big tummy too.. soon?! LOL. But it does excessively takes up my time and energy at times, am trying to balance up and cut it down to alternate day instead before im taking complaints from anyone. LOL.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Follow your heart
Never know a few hours late night talk would totally reminded the happiness which I’ve forgotten so long. Thanks to June, the great buddy and the only 1 out of 10, appreciate her thoughtful speech so much, so much wisdom to find…
Our conversation peaked when she reminded how wonderful for one able to go for something that absolutely follows his heart, a simple way of life but most were not clever enough to realize that.
We’re so used to the logical, common way of thinking in society yet we’ve always neglected the very true voices in our heart. Have u ever wanted something so much but bound to ethical values you'd just ended up go with the flow and leave your true desire alongside? What if it comes back again and again, what if it was so strong and makes you really anxious about it? and you might hope for no regrets five years down the road?
So who is deciding you right or wrong, the moral values, the so called common senses or the voices within the deepest inside you? It needs plenty of guts, June said that. To live according what ppl normally accepted and likes it, you’re easily a good man… to them. But come to our own self, regardless should it be called selfish, don’t you think we should be all truthful to our heart? Albeit the fact it could sometime makes others disagree with you so much that one may hate you, or discrediting you till an extend you may have to give up some good lives at that time, would you still persist? Not so easy…
I’m glad I’ve learnt a good lesson, to have my guts I would need plenty helps from God. God bless me, and be happy for me if one day I’m on my way to pursue the very happiness that I want.
Monday, June 16, 2008
40 Tips for Better Life - 2008
>1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It isthe ultimate anti-depressant.
>2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if youhave to.
>3. Buy a DVD and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
>4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'Mypurpose is to __________ today.'
>5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
>6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.
>7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, and prayer. Theyprovide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
>8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.>9. Dream more while you are awake.
>10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food thatis manufactured in plants.
>11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskansalmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
>12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
>13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new andflowing energy into your life.
>14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issuesof the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Insteadinvest your energy in the positive present moment.
>15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problemsare simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebraclass but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
>16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like acollege kid with a maxed out charge card.
>17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.
>18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
>19.. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
>20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
>21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree..
>22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
>23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what theirjourney is all about.
>24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
>25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years,will this matter?'
>26. Forgive everyone for everything.
>27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
>28. GOD heals almost everything.
>29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
>30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friendswill.Stay in touch.
>31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.>32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.>
33. The best is yet to come.
>34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
>35. Do the right thing!
>36. Call your family often.
>37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: Iam thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________..
>38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
>39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainlydon't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make themost of it and enjoy the ride.
>40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about.
>2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if youhave to.
>3. Buy a DVD and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
>4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'Mypurpose is to __________ today.'
>5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
>6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.
>7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, and prayer. Theyprovide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
>8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.>9. Dream more while you are awake.
>10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food thatis manufactured in plants.
>11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskansalmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
>12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
>13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new andflowing energy into your life.
>14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issuesof the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Insteadinvest your energy in the positive present moment.
>15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problemsare simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebraclass but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
>16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like acollege kid with a maxed out charge card.
>17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.
>18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
>19.. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
>20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
>21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree..
>22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
>23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what theirjourney is all about.
>24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
>25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years,will this matter?'
>26. Forgive everyone for everything.
>27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
>28. GOD heals almost everything.
>29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
>30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friendswill.Stay in touch.
>31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.>32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.>
33. The best is yet to come.
>34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
>35. Do the right thing!
>36. Call your family often.
>37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: Iam thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________..
>38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
>39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainlydon't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make themost of it and enjoy the ride.
>40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about.
Friday, June 13, 2008
beautiful lady
Read this article a few times in newspaper, internet... touches my heart...
抢救人员发现她的时候，她已经死了，是被垮塌下来的房子压死的，透过那一堆废墟的的间隙可以看到她死亡的姿势，双膝跪着，整个上身向前匍匐着，双手扶着地支撑着身体，有些象古人行跪拜礼，只是身体被压的变形了，看上去有些诡异。救援人员从废墟的空隙伸手进去确认了她已经死亡，又在冲着废墟喊了几声，用撬棍在在砖头上敲了几下，里面没有任何回应。当人群走到下一个建筑物的时候，救援队长忽然往回跑，边跑变喊“快过来”。他又来到她的尸体前，费力的把手伸进女人的身子底下摸索，他摸了几下高声的喊“有人，有个孩子 ，还活着”。 经过一番努力，人们小心的把挡着她的废墟清理开，在她的身体下面躺着她的孩子，包在一个红色带黄花的小被子里，大概有3、4个月大，因为母亲身体庇护着，他毫发未伤，抱出来的时候，他还安静的睡着，他熟睡的脸让所有在场的人感到很温暖。 随行的医生过来解开被子准备做些检查，发现有一部手机塞在被子里，医生下意识的看了下手机屏幕，发现屏幕上是一条已经写好的短信“亲爱的宝贝，如果你能活着，一定要记住我爱你”，看惯了生离死别的医生却在这一刻落泪了，手机传递着，每个看到短信的人都落泪了。
抢救人员发现她的时候，她已经死了，是被垮塌下来的房子压死的，透过那一堆废墟的的间隙可以看到她死亡的姿势，双膝跪着，整个上身向前匍匐着，双手扶着地支撑着身体，有些象古人行跪拜礼，只是身体被压的变形了，看上去有些诡异。救援人员从废墟的空隙伸手进去确认了她已经死亡，又在冲着废墟喊了几声，用撬棍在在砖头上敲了几下，里面没有任何回应。当人群走到下一个建筑物的时候，救援队长忽然往回跑，边跑变喊“快过来”。他又来到她的尸体前，费力的把手伸进女人的身子底下摸索，他摸了几下高声的喊“有人，有个孩子 ，还活着”。 经过一番努力，人们小心的把挡着她的废墟清理开，在她的身体下面躺着她的孩子，包在一个红色带黄花的小被子里，大概有3、4个月大，因为母亲身体庇护着，他毫发未伤，抱出来的时候，他还安静的睡着，他熟睡的脸让所有在场的人感到很温暖。 随行的医生过来解开被子准备做些检查，发现有一部手机塞在被子里，医生下意识的看了下手机屏幕，发现屏幕上是一条已经写好的短信“亲爱的宝贝，如果你能活着，一定要记住我爱你”，看惯了生离死别的医生却在这一刻落泪了，手机传递着，每个看到短信的人都落泪了。
Saturday, April 05, 2008
LOVE and other disaster
Cool, I was inspired by this gay movie… haha.. sorry I’m not trying to be homophobic but watching a gay movie just doesn’t sound really normal to a ordinary straight guy like me.
Dun get me wrong, it’s a comedy about love, for both straight and gay. I love when they said this: ‘Maybe true love is a decision. A decision to take a chance with somebody, and to give to somebody without worrying whether they’ll give anything back, or if they’re gonna hurt you, or if they really are the one.’
Love isn’t something that happens to you, maybe it’s something you have to choose. Sounds cool? Maybe we’ve been letting too much of ‘unnecessary anxieties’ wandering in our mind too long and ended up losses the strength to being fall in love naturally.
Well, that could explained why homosexuals are commonly accepted in western countries, ha!
Dun get me wrong, it’s a comedy about love, for both straight and gay. I love when they said this: ‘Maybe true love is a decision. A decision to take a chance with somebody, and to give to somebody without worrying whether they’ll give anything back, or if they’re gonna hurt you, or if they really are the one.’
Love isn’t something that happens to you, maybe it’s something you have to choose. Sounds cool? Maybe we’ve been letting too much of ‘unnecessary anxieties’ wandering in our mind too long and ended up losses the strength to being fall in love naturally.
Well, that could explained why homosexuals are commonly accepted in western countries, ha!
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Ken Lee
she became so famous... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cT18LZItBLA&NR=1
and later with her own remix version ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzSSAPtyiFY&feature=related
hahaha.. something u shudn't miss it ....
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Monday, March 31, 2008
Headache o headache
For the very first time I’m taking so much of ‘scolding’ from a contractor, someone which I paid to do work for me.
Whenever something goes wrong, she will say ‘come on David, u have to understand there’s always problem on site compare to drawing, learn to take it... ‘What the fuck? You’re a professional designer and u’re telling me such unforgivable excuses?! But when I forgotten something, she will yell at me and say ‘David, how come u’re can’t remember that, u’re the owner here u shud have know everything ok…’ haha, even the measurement of the toilet wall she’s referring me, I wonder why am I paying her so much money for?
Weird huh? I hate to see her stupid face rising up the voice to my mum and making all the stupid judgment on her own, come on, who’s the boss here? x@#!
Trust me, she’s the most irritating ignorant bitch in the world… god bless her…
Whenever something goes wrong, she will say ‘come on David, u have to understand there’s always problem on site compare to drawing, learn to take it... ‘What the fuck? You’re a professional designer and u’re telling me such unforgivable excuses?! But when I forgotten something, she will yell at me and say ‘David, how come u’re can’t remember that, u’re the owner here u shud have know everything ok…’ haha, even the measurement of the toilet wall she’s referring me, I wonder why am I paying her so much money for?
Weird huh? I hate to see her stupid face rising up the voice to my mum and making all the stupid judgment on her own, come on, who’s the boss here? x@#!
Trust me, she’s the most irritating ignorant bitch in the world… god bless her…
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Saturday afternoon
Saturday afternoon…. what does ppl normally do at this hour? Enjoying the only work stress-free day of the week? Yeah, pity us who have to work 6 days a week, another day off to get prepared for the coming week. so sad.
I shud have be loitering in LDV café in Milton now, reading FHM, checking out the sexy one around. Hei, I miss those days… Shall the money would fall from sky anytime, i will die to grab everything rush to buy an air tix to Brisbane! Hei, shall I put that into my prayer tonight? Ha…
I shud have be loitering in LDV café in Milton now, reading FHM, checking out the sexy one around. Hei, I miss those days… Shall the money would fall from sky anytime, i will die to grab everything rush to buy an air tix to Brisbane! Hei, shall I put that into my prayer tonight? Ha…
Another option, lying down in white sandy beach of Rawa island, the best island in M’sia I’ve ever been, with a glass of cocktail, and having Dora besides me. Isn’t that what we shud do in such a lovely Saturday noon?I love Saturday afternoon, only when I’m out of this place…
Thursday, March 27, 2008
hei i'm back...
I’m back… after months abandoning this place and inconceivable forces are pulling me back again, haha! It was a year back since my last post, too much of happenings make my life changes very much, too…
Where am I at the moment? Beginning of my career, our career instead- Myself, Darling & Yvonne. A sophisticated concept café that sounds crazy dreamy – D’ Fashion Café…
Nonetheless, It is already there, whom who calls it a dream has now half way gone true. With tons of efforts and backing-up from mum, sis, dad, aunt and great good buddies who have to put into names , Max, Annabelle, Nelson, Erica, Edmund, Ray… and not forgotten darling and her family for offering their warmest hands…
Where am I at the moment? Beginning of my career, our career instead- Myself, Darling & Yvonne. A sophisticated concept café that sounds crazy dreamy – D’ Fashion Café…
Nonetheless, It is already there, whom who calls it a dream has now half way gone true. With tons of efforts and backing-up from mum, sis, dad, aunt and great good buddies who have to put into names , Max, Annabelle, Nelson, Erica, Edmund, Ray… and not forgotten darling and her family for offering their warmest hands…
For me and Dora, dramatically fairy tales would best describe us now. Walking through the good and bad times, prince and princess are now heading to the happily ever after… It has never been so visibly true which I can’t bear to lose her, who I am foreseeing marriage. Surprise?! Not at all, to those who gone thru all like we did, nothing shall be more precious than being together.
Wish me the best luck, and that’s what I need for the most now. 18th April will be the important day to my life, my career. Finger cross, everything’s going to be alright, and better.
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